Over coff ee, Linda and I traded
stories of bad funeral services that
had left us empty and confused,
even angry. She told of a service
in which the pastor harangued
the congregation with scenarios of
their doomed end in hellfi re and
damnation. I told of a funeral in
which the immediate family was
shielded by a curtain, as if public
expressions of grief were shameful
and needed to be hidden away.
Happily, the services Linda
has prepared in collaboration
with grieving families are
markedly diff erent from these
horror stories. Working closely
with families, she builds the
ceremony with them, helping
them to choose readings and
music. She solicits stories that
she encourages family members
to deliver; or, if they prefer,
she weaves the stories into a
personalized eulogy. “It’s a
privilege to hear the family’s
stories at a time when they need
to tell them and a privilege to
tell those stories back to them at
a time when they need to hear
them,” she said.
One funeral was for a pilot
who had served in the German
Luftwaff e in the Second World
War. After the war, he became a
northern bush pilot in Canada and
a respected member of the fl ying
and business communities. Linda
solicited stories about the deceased
from his family, friends, and fellow
pilots, a few of whom had been
fi ghter pilots in the Royal Canadian
Air Force during the war. Years
before, they had researched Allied
and German fl ight logs to discover
that not only had they been in
combat on opposite sides but also
had, amazingly on at least one
occasion, shot each other down.
Their shared love of fl ying forged
a friendship after the divisiveness
of war.
Linda told of a young man who,
in spite of a medical challenge,
became a trusted expert in
the motorcycle shop where he
worked. He loved everything
connected with motorcycles and
was befriended by riders of all
stripes, including those with
gang affi liations. When he died
tragically, the family had his casket
built in Harley-Davidson colours.
Bikers from rival gangs operated
under an unspoken truce forming
an honour guard as the casket was
carried out of the funeral home
and again at the graveside.
Linda’s decades-long
experience as a celebrant equips
her to off er practical advice
about various elements that can
make up a ceremony, including
slide shows (quality photos,
preferably of the deceased with
family members and no more
than fi ve minutes long), readings,
and music (two to three carefully
considered selections). “People
attending the funeral or memorial
need a clear sense of start and
end,” counsels Linda.
She tells families who don’t
know any prayers that prayers
can be expressions of love and
gratitude for the deceased’s life
and legacy. She tries to steer
families away from a free-range
open microphone and supports
that advice with a story about a
funeral for a recovering alcoholic
at which the open mic turned
the service into an extended
alcoholics support meeting.
Instead of shielding children and
grandchildren from a memorial
service, Linda actively encourages
their participation. One family’s
grandchildren were inspired to
decorate their grandma’s urn
with jewell ed bedazzlers, an act of
creativity and love that the family
agreed was perfect.
Being a funeral celebrant is
only one aspect of Linda’s busy,
creative, and professional life. She
runs her own consulting business;
she’s a sought-after public
speaker and workshop facilitator.
She is also a playwright with an
impressive list of plays performed
at the Edmonton Fringe Festival
and internationally. The common
threads? Active listening, humour,
creativity, practical problem
solving, and storytelling. ●
Jannie Edwards, a professor
emeritus at MacEwan University,
is a teacher of literature and
creative writing who has published
three collections of poetry. She
has been part of several artistic
collaborations and legacy arts
projects. She lives near Smoky Lake.
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