news&views Winter 2018 | Page 29

Over coff ee, Linda and I traded stories of bad funeral services that had left us empty and confused, even angry. She told of a service in which the pastor harangued the congregation with scenarios of their doomed end in hellfi re and damnation. I told of a funeral in which the immediate family was shielded by a curtain, as if public expressions of grief were shameful and needed to be hidden away. Happily, the services Linda has prepared in collaboration with grieving families are markedly diff erent from these horror stories. Working closely with families, she builds the ceremony with them, helping them to choose readings and music. She solicits stories that she encourages family members to deliver; or, if they prefer, she weaves the stories into a personalized eulogy. “It’s a privilege to hear the family’s stories at a time when they need to tell them and a privilege to tell those stories back to them at a time when they need to hear them,” she said. One funeral was for a pilot who had served in the German Luftwaff e in the Second World War. After the war, he became a northern bush pilot in Canada and a respected member of the fl ying and business communities. Linda solicited stories about the deceased from his family, friends, and fellow pilots, a few of whom had been fi ghter pilots in the Royal Canadian Air Force during the war. Years before, they had researched Allied and German fl ight logs to discover that not only had they been in combat on opposite sides but also had, amazingly on at least one occasion, shot each other down. Their shared love of fl ying forged a friendship after the divisiveness of war. Linda told of a young man who, in spite of a medical challenge, became a trusted expert in the motorcycle shop where he worked. He loved everything connected with motorcycles and was befriended by riders of all stripes, including those with gang affi liations. When he died tragically, the family had his casket built in Harley-Davidson colours. Bikers from rival gangs operated under an unspoken truce forming an honour guard as the casket was carried out of the funeral home and again at the graveside. Linda’s decades-long experience as a celebrant equips her to off er practical advice about various elements that can make up a ceremony, including slide shows (quality photos, preferably of the deceased with family members and no more than fi ve minutes long), readings, and music (two to three carefully considered selections). “People attending the funeral or memorial need a clear sense of start and end,” counsels Linda. She tells families who don’t know any prayers that prayers can be expressions of love and gratitude for the deceased’s life and legacy. She tries to steer families away from a free-range open microphone and supports that advice with a story about a funeral for a recovering alcoholic at which the open mic turned the service into an extended alcoholics support meeting. Instead of shielding children and grandchildren from a memorial service, Linda actively encourages their participation. One family’s grandchildren were inspired to decorate their grandma’s urn with jewell ed bedazzlers, an act of creativity and love that the family agreed was perfect. Being a funeral celebrant is only one aspect of Linda’s busy, creative, and professional life. She runs her own consulting business; she’s a sought-after public speaker and workshop facilitator. She is also a playwright with an impressive list of plays performed at the Edmonton Fringe Festival and internationally. The common threads? Active listening, humour, creativity, practical problem solving, and storytelling. ● Jannie Edwards, a professor emeritus at MacEwan University, is a teacher of literature and creative writing who has published three collections of poetry. She has been part of several artistic collaborations and legacy arts projects. She lives near Smoky Lake. news&views WINTER 2018 | 29