OPINION
OPINION
The Way I See It … BY PAUL E . BOISVERT
In her novel In This Our Life published in 1941 , novelist Ellen Glasgow wrote : “ No life is so hard that you can ’ t make it easier by the way you take it .” A prerequisite to learning how to take adversity philosophically is to avoid the “ why me ?” syndrome , the feeling of being singled out for a special dose of adversity . Everyone has their own adversities and when we risk to make comparisons with those of others , our own may appear to be rather insignificant . We are reminded that we cannot develop a sense of proportion about our own circumstances if we are persistent in measuring them against mystical standards of contentment set by others , especially media in its many modern forms . ( I am writing this during the time of the year — Christmas season — when we and our loved ones are bombarded by media reminding us of where and how we can achieve ultimate happiness .) It was Seneca who said , “ There are no greater wretches in the world than many of those whom people in general take to be happy .”
A primary factor in giving ourselves a chance of developing a strong philosophical defence against that which would bury us in self-pity is to pause and seriously attempt to put things into perspective . Perspective provides us with the strongest of all defences against the destructive forces of self-pity : the ability to not take them too seriously . I wonder if this is what Socrates meant when he said : “ If we were all to bring our misfortunes into a common store , so that each person should receive an equal share distribution , the majority would be glad to take their own and depart .” Although I do not remember the source , the following thought has stayed with me , “ a good jest in time of misfortune is food and drink …” Sounds a bit Oscar Wilde-ish !
When one views objects through a prism , the view is usually distorted . And so it is when we view the negative facts of our life : they , too , are most often distorted by the prism of pessimism . As difficult as it may be and as sustained as it is by many aspects of our culture to validate fear , sorrow and ‘ woe be me ,’ pausing to look at the brighter side must be given its due . When any adversity causes us to suffer somewhat , the first thing to remember is how much has been escaped . Among what has survived , one might find , are things like personal integrity and the love of our peers … in short , the things that really matter in life .
A contrary turn of events should be a signal for a meaningful assessment of our personal responsibility for it so that we can work on correcting the faults and attitudes that may have contributed to it . We must not lightly excuse ourselves as the hapless victims of misfortune if we do not want to repeat our mistakes . It is too easy to confuse ignorance or outright stupidity with destiny !
We can , of course , be subject to adversity that is not of our own making . Bad things do happen to good people ! Much grief may flow from individuals blaming themselves when something happens that is totally beyond their control . For instance , it is not unusual for parents to feel deep hurt or responsibility for the failures of their children or for survivors to feel guilty about the deaths of those whom they love . However , in the realities of life , it is far more usual to blame others for our adversities rather than ourselves . When things go wrong , it is natural to look around for scapegoats . Therefore , when we meet in a quasi-social setting ( read coffee shop ) to discuss all the ills of this world of ours , it goes beyond saying that these adversities are easily
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