CONFESSIONS OF A CLASSROOM CLOWN: FIRST PLACE
Someone Noticed
Linda White
The paper airplane loops and
lands on Jaden’s desk. Mrs.
Hornby ignores it. If she pretends
not to notice, the bad behaviour
might stop; she keeps writing
on the board; her butt wiggles.
Neveah gyrates, mocking the
teacher. Jaden unfolds the paper
plane and holds it up. The class
erupts in laughter.
Mrs. Hornby misses Neveah’s
performance, but she sees the
sketch and grabs it from Jaden’s
upheld hand.
“Whose is this?” she demands.
The laughter dies. Grade Six
students hate to lose their recess.
“Tell me or we’ll spend recess
wishing someone had confessed.”
Neveah raises her ink-stained
hand.
“You, Neveah. I should have
known,” says Mrs. Hornby. “We
have a date at recess. Everyone
else, focus on your work.”
Mrs. Hornby continues the
lesson. The off ending sketch sits
on her desk, the red caption Mrs.
Horny much less hilarious than
it was minutes earlier. Neveah
bends to her work but can’t
resist adding caricatures of Mrs.
Hornby to the margins of her
notes. They depict the teacher
with a hooked witch’s nose,
complete with hairy wart. Her
eyes are small and mean, her hair
straggly but eerily accurate. A boy
in a nearby desk struggles not to
laugh.
The bell rings for recess and
the class waits for dismissal. Mrs.
Hornby lets them go.
Neveah slumps in her desk.
She reaches for some paper
to continue drawing but Mrs.
Hornby shakes her head.
“No, Neveah. You’re not
drawing and I don’t appreciate
your making fun of me when my
back is turned. It’s rude.”
The girl shrugs.
“Let me see your notes,” says
the teacher.
“No, they’re private.” Neveah
shoves the notebook farther into
in her desk where Mrs. Hornby
can’t see it.
The teacher holds out her
hand and Neveah has to pass her
scribbler over. Wordlessly, Mrs.
Hornby examines the likenesses
in the book’s margins. Hers as
Mrs. Horny and the principal,
Mr. Hobart, as Mr. Ho-Fart.
Then she hands the notes back.
“I expect the rest of the
assignment fi nished by recess
end. Get to work.”
Neveah is quick to do as she is
told. Mrs. Hornby could report
her to the principal or phone her
mother. Calling teachers names
is serious.
Mrs. Hornby lets the silence grow.
A couple of tears plop onto the
desk but Neveah manages to say,
“What are you going to do to me?”
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