I sit alone, refl ecting on the past,
These last few months of constant changes,
Such strides I’ve taken.
The person who existed, not so long ago,
October of 2019, he left with only about ten
days notice, moved to Nova Scotia, and found
a job. He turned his life around.
This left me alone, completely, for the fi rst
time in over forty years. That was a change
I had sought but did not expect. I explored
my new freedom cautiously, but with silent
enthusiasm. I knew that the biggest challenge
would be Christmas. There would be no
opportunity for either of my children to share
the holiday with me. I would be alone. So I
prepared to make the best of it. I decorated
the house, held my annual chocolate
workshop (eleven people in my house making
chocolates — a challenge in itself), put up
new Christmas lights on the garage (it was
easier to use the ladder without all the extra
weight), put together packages to mail to the
kids, did my usual baking (and some extras).
The holiday spirit remained within me.
Christmas day was traditional for me.
Presents in the morning. Turkey on the BBQ,
accompanied by giblet gravy, turnip, brussels
sprouts, potatoes, and cranberry sauce.
Movies on TV. Quiet time. I had long-distance
conversations with my son and daughter —
their parcels got there in time!
So, some changes I created and some
changes I had thrust upon me. I have
embraced them, though with diff ering levels
of comfort. What new changes are yet to
come? No way of knowing. I only know I have
found a strength within me that I hope will
allow me to face whatever comes.
No longer is a part of my true being;
I have transformed her.
Some differences are obvious to all;
Physical alterations apparent
Just by seeing me.
Other things are much more subtle,
Hidden deeper inside myself,
Rebuilt foundations.
Such guiding principles as trust and faith
Are once again a stable part of me,
And help my choices.
Positive energies abound every day;
I see the world as a wonderful place
Where I belong. ●
news&views SPRING 2020 | 31