SHANNON LANG

Fear is the primary emotion that affects seniors in the downsizing process : fear of eroding relationships , fear of relinquishing possessions and fear of the unknown . Being aware , acknowledging , appreciating and accepting this emotion are the fi rst steps in the transition .

Relationships

Emotions run high when a senior gets ready to move . It is very diffi cult to leave the house in which they have possibly invested many decades . They are leaving neighbours and the community where they raised their family , played bridge once a week , depended on one another and watched over each other ’ s children . They are leaving a safe and secure environment and replacing it with uncertainty .

Family relationships are also taxed during this time . There are hundreds of questions asked that come from all directions . Sometimes there is a lack of family support . A senior may ask , “ Why don ’ t you want my prized possessions ?” while the children may be saying , “ Why did she throw that out ? I wanted it .” Or , “ Why did Sue get the lamp I wanted ?” Family members may begin to squabble among themselves creating obstacles and a bumpy ride .

Possessions

A house full of ‘ stuff ’ can be daunting . Imagine forty years of belongings packed into a fourteen-hundred-square-foot home . Every crevice is full , from attic to crawl space — and don ’ t forget the shed and garage ! There ’ s a fear of having to rush through packing with the possibility of tossing out treasured items . “ What do I do with all the stuff ? How can I accomplish this on my own ? Where can I get boxes ? What am I taking with me ? What will fi t into my new space ? This is going to take forever , and I don ’ t have time : the house is sold , and the possession date is coming .”

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The Unknown

Moving to a foreign location is unsettling . Tasks like fi nding where to buy groceries , do laundry , and catch the bus may have been exciting in our younger years ; but for many seniors it is now a fearful experience . “ Will the neighbours be helpful ? Will I still see my friends ?” These are all very real concerns .

Some seniors are unable to participate in the process because of failing health . Others may be hospitalized or living in a care facility . There is anxiety about not being able to oversee the packing of their items . “ Can my family do my memories justice ? What will happen to my mother ’ s lace tablecloth ? Will I be able to fi nd the picture my granddaughter painted or has it been thrown away ?” The fear of not being in control haunts many .

Light at the End of the Tunnel

There is relief once time is made available to sort through belongings . Items no longer needed are let go of and the joy of displaying prized possessions — and therefore memories — is obvious . Rooms become safer for mobility as decluttering continues . Seniors fi nd peace of mind when they are still in control .

Caregivers or adult children also feel relief when details of a move are taken care of and their family member is in a safe and comforting place . Navigating the emotional journey of downsizing is diffi cult , and it ’ s why many families hire the services of a third party to guide them .

Shannon Lang , owner of Edmonton ’ s Elder Move Inc ., is a certifi ed Senior Move Manager ® and specializes in seniors ’ relocations . For more information , contact :

780-668-9767 • Shannon @ eldermove . ca www . eldermove . ca