President’s Message
Marilyn Bossert | President, ARTA
Celebrating a Life
For me, Mother’s Day was always a day of mixed
emotions. I eagerly anticipated the time to be spent
with my family, or, when we couldn’t be together,
telephone calls from my adult children, texts from my
older grandchildren, or Facetime with my little ones.
But my heart still aches when I think of my own
mother. Cancer took her far too soon, depriving her
of the joys associated with her three daughters and
their families, and especially her grandchildren and
great-grandchildren.
My mother’s quality of life declined dramatically
from the time she was first diagnosed. However,
no matter how dreadful she felt, her first concern
was always for her family. When she came to terms
with knowing that her days were numbered, she set
out to make easier for her family the heartbreaking
experience of planning her funeral service. That
day, she requested pen and paper from the nurses’
station to record her wishes.
Not so long ago, I found that copy. Her choices
included the funeral home, the minister, a possible
eulogist, her preferred six pallbearers and four
alternatives, three of her favourite hymns — and
four that were not to be used. She assumed we
would know that the service would be in her
local church.
Although I currently have no health issues, my
mother’s words were a definite reminder that I
should follow her lead. As I pondered what she
had done, I began to realize that planning for my
own celebration of life should be a normal part of
planning for my future.
With that in mind, I visited one of the local
funeral homes. They would have preferred that I
come in for a consultation, but I was not ready for
that yet; so, we compromised by my taking home
their information package. And that action I would
recommend to others, because it gave me both
direction and time to think.
“Funeral Planning in Alberta,” a brochure from
the Alberta Funeral Services Regulatory Board
(AFSRB) (afsrb.ab.ca), not only describes the
importance of planning ahead but also lists the
decisions that will need to be made — many more
than were made by my mother.
Once I’ve made my decisions, my family needs to
know the plan. My mother kept hers in the family
Bible. Such instructions should be left in a safe
location — but not a safety deposit box. “Funeral
Planning in Alberta” includes a pullout section called
“I never thought about that…,” which is a quick
reference and a checklist to be shared with the family.
There are also other resources from the AFSRB.
“My Specific Requests” includes some of the
same topics but also deals with more personal
information. “My Biography Journal” is a more
personal document that could be useful to someone
writing a eulogy. It begins with information about
family, friends, education, childhood, adolescence,
and adulthood. It builds a story of one’s life and
then concludes with estate and funeral information.
When I think forward to my idea of a celebration
of life service, I hope it will be a meaningful
experience for my family. I would like to make the
whole event easier for my family and, at the same
time, have some input on helping them move on
with memories of me.
Now that I have a road map, I need to start planning.
It’s time to follow in the footsteps of my mother to
create a mother’s final, selfless gift to her family. ●
news&views SUMMER 2019 | 5