news&views Autumn 2020 | Page 36

Caring for a Spouse in Your Senior Years: “Do I have to do everything around here?” Anita Jenkins Brochures and websites about retirement usually feature images of older couples golfing, vacationing in warm climates, and dining at fine restaurants. “I never imagined it would be like this,” says one woman who assisted her increasingly disabled husband for several years and could seldom leave the house except for fitness activities and grocery shopping. And this was pre-COVID-19. “But you do what you have to do,” she says. This scenario for aging couples is more common than most of us want to believe. In 2012, Statistics Canada reported that more than one million caregivers in Canada were over age 65. I talked to four different people about this topic, and this is what they had to say. In a calm and accepting voice, Joan talks about dealing with her husband’s struggle with Parkinson’s. Over a period of ten years there has been a gradual decline, both physically and mentally. “It is up and down; we’ll see; what next?” she says. Joan has experienced not only stress and worry and loss, but also increasing responsibilities, including handling the couple’s financial affairs. “Even my time away during the day becomes more and more limited,” she says. 36 | arta.net